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Life on a landslip

Discussion in 'General Chat and Gossip' started by beachlover, Jul 22, 2017.

  1. beachlover

    beachlover Moderator Staff Member

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    I'm always posting crap about the Isle of Wight, so I thought I'd fire up a thread and here's my first offering. This comes from a woman posting to a FB group, newly formed by a very good local councillor in response to a series of attempted burglaries, acts of vandalism and an out of control lorry because of a texting driver in our village.

    [​IMG]

    He must be wondering WTF he bothered!
     
    #1
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2017
    bushwacker and BorderReiver like this.
  2. Quarterstaff

    Quarterstaff Member

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    Stinging nettles in the face, all part of childhood :rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
    #2
    Sensi5446 and beachlover like this.
  3. jaggededge

    jaggededge Member

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    you must be special on the island. i've yet to see a dog trained to use a bin.
     
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    beachlover likes this.
  4. beachlover

    beachlover Moderator Staff Member

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    Probably why someone has taken the lid off in an attempt to make it a bit simpler for them. :P
     
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  5. beachlover

    beachlover Moderator Staff Member

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    As if it's not depressing enough to own one of these, how much more depressed must this poor sod be that it couldn't even take him over the edge today?

    [​IMG]
     
    #5
  6. bushwacker

    bushwacker Subscribed Member

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    If he's quick he can connect a hose pipe to the exhaust, give them a few more years and the best he could do is a 12v electric shock.
     
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  7. beachlover

    beachlover Moderator Staff Member

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
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  8. Renton

    Renton Subscribed Member

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    #8
  9. BorderReiver

    BorderReiver Moderator Staff Member

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    #9
  10. Renton

    Renton Subscribed Member

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    Apparently there have been a few recently. People ordering new sports cars for the summer then crashing because it's rained and they're too busy showing off to realise. 200k for an hours drive though :O
    I hope the insurance tell him to fuck off!
     
    #10
  11. Andylaser

    Andylaser Administrator Staff Member

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    Even if they do pay out, he is going to get anally raped on next 5 years premiums.
     
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  12. NOTSHARP

    NOTSHARP Subscribed Member

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    We seem to be back with Kev's toothbrush. :D


    Steve.
     
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  13. beachlover

    beachlover Moderator Staff Member

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    #13
  14. NOTSHARP

    NOTSHARP Subscribed Member

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    #14
    beachlover likes this.
  15. Nice65

    Nice65 Subscribed Member

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    “The bus roof was badly damaged, and it has been taken away for repair”.

    :rofl:
     
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  16. Andylaser

    Andylaser Administrator Staff Member

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    Look like it has a boy racer "go fast" spoiler on the back now. :)
     
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    beachlover likes this.
  17. ###Out of Cheese Error###

    ###Out of Cheese Error### Member

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    Anyone remember Whale Tail spoilers?
     
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    beachlover likes this.
  18. ###Out of Cheese Error###

    ###Out of Cheese Error### Member

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    I resisted the temptation to mention that Blue Whales have a six foot dick and relate it to the height of the driver.

    And after posting, I realised that I didn't need to resist :D
     
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  19. jaggededge

    jaggededge Member

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    I knew a bloke who had a whale tail on his Sierra. He's now a she and his dicks gone. How about that.
     
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  20. Nice65

    Nice65 Subscribed Member

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    Cars. Bloody cars.

    Got the dogs all revved up for a walk, put them in, noticed my near side rear was flat.

    I'd only recently changed it for the spare that had a very slow puncture. So, the spare was flat too. No problem thought I, I shall use my trusty mini compressor and stand watching it for a good half hour while it farts weakly into my tyre.

    Turned the key so I could move the car away from the fence to jack it up, plus the bonus of the compressor only taking 29 minutes due to the extra oomph. Nothing, clunked the engine over once and that was it. The very helpful builder on next doors roof informed me "Sounds flat mate". Highly tempted to inform him he might have a few .177 pellets need removing from his arse, but refrained.

    Tried the jump leads, couldn't get the Mini close enough.

    Builder and mate were good enough to come round and push the car out of the drive, so I was quite glad I hadn't shot him at that stage. Then they pushed me down the road. It's the A286, quite busy really, and I'm running on a flat. And my car is a diesel with a heavy flywheel so refused to start off the bump. Hazard lights on and into a very handy lay by to ponder what next.

    Then builders mate who was never in my line of fire suggested he pull his van over and use his set of leads to jump it. I'm not sure why this wasn't suggested in the first place, but I was very grateful by then to have a running engine to pump my fooked tyre and trundle down to the local garage for a new battery and to dump off one of the wheels for repair.

    All in all, just one of those things, but bloody annoying nonetheless.

    Two nails in one tyre and a screw in the other. FML!
     
    #20

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