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slight dilemma

Discussion in 'General Chat and Gossip' started by E. by gum, Jun 6, 2019.

  1. E. by gum

    E. by gum Member

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    Mark at work has decided he would like to go for a walk. He's not outdoorsy, but went to Malham Cove once (I think) and is hoping I will take him there or Ingleborough......but Leeds/Bradford are in the way of me driving to Malham, not been for years. No point him driving, his cars a £400 thing with exhaust hanging off. Tells me he's bought some £8 boots from a charity shop n might as well use them! He stays in too much n drinks too much, by his own admission. I like the bloke, but he will want a meal out (he lives in a flat and the extent of his cooking seems to be the microwave), when a few of us go for a pub night he's always trying to talk others into a pub meal (nobodys interested), we just want a 7 pm meet for a few drinks. And he will want a pint with it...of course I would be abstaining as driving! Etc etc............dont want to knock it, but
    ARGGHHH
     
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  2. BorderReiver

    BorderReiver Moderator Staff Member

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    Friends can sometimes be a pain in the bum.:roll:
     
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  3. beachlover

    beachlover Moderator Staff Member

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    I’ve a mate like that. Much younger than me by about 25 years, did six weeks in the Navy and hasn’t worked a day since. He’s into alcohol and other things as well as having mental health issues. He doesn’t drive either (thank goodness).
    Apart from drinking together of a Sunday before everyone else snuffed it, me knowing his late grandma and mum through Church and my daughters having gone to school with (and hating) him, about all we have in common is dead folk.
    He did the same as your mate two years ago, bought the boots and a five quid rucksack in charity shop and volunteered himself to go walking with me.
    I picked him up in my car and not only did he smell of beer, he popped a can as we set off.
    We walked just over twelve miles on a baking hot day over the Downs to Freshwater and back along the cliffs with him stopping to down another can whenever I hit the water bottle.
    By the time we got back to the pub car park. I was fooked, but he was like the walking dead. I then insisted he bought me a a couple of shandies and that we had lunch, truly expecting him to vomit or collapse. He didn’t speak on the way home and I didn’t let him sleep either. After I’d poured him out at his flat I didn’t hear from him for ages other than a cursory text to say thanks for a great day. He later told me he thought he was going to die and had called whatever the “we don’t give a fuck” line for the NHS is. :D
    We are still in touch and remain “mates” thanks to yet more shared bereavements, but I’ve not had another request to go walking together. :lol:

    Give it a try.

    Also bear in mind that single, especially divorced and separated men who have drink problems and live alone, along with mental or physical health issues are much more likely to top themselves and die early from other causes, so you can either think of it as doing the supportive friend bit when he’s being a pain in the arse or really cheer yourself up by knowing you might be bringing that date forward...

    Either way, you were there for him. :P
     
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    Last edited: Jun 6, 2019
    BorderReiver and E. by gum like this.
  4. jaggededge

    jaggededge Member

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    Take him somewhere remote and lose him.
     
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    bushwacker likes this.
  5. NOTSHARP

    NOTSHARP Subscribed Member

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    Tell him to fuck off.




    Steve.
     
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  6. E. by gum

    E. by gum Member

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    Wouldnt describe Mark as an alki but by his own admission he overdoes it. On pub nights he will have maybe 4 pints, doesnt get loud or owt.
    He's decent company, just I would have to do all the sorting out, he wont have a clue. May offer him a walk somewhere n he can take it or leave it.
    I sometimes go to watch banger racing, theres a big bash on the 16th at skegness stadium, Marks been on about coming to bangers with me for ages, but when I told him on the day admission is £22-dunno if am going yet-he's ruled that out, he can't afford that! FFS what can you do sometimes.
    Wonder if I'm the only walker who ever goes to watch banger racing?
     
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  7. beachlover

    beachlover Moderator Staff Member

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    He sounds like a lonely bloke. If he on comparable earnings to you and not poor then he’s spending his money on something so perhaps he drinks more than you see. Either way, he sounds like someone I’d take out on a walk of my choosing and see how it goes. Who knows, it might be the making of him? The downside is that you might end up with a new best friend you can’t bear and it causes strife at work. As for lunch, if you take him, he pays. :)
     
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    winnet likes this.
  8. snappingturtle

    snappingturtle Member

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    Give him notice of one of your days out set your start time, and the deal is he comes to you, and its a pack lunch and no fekking booze if he turns up fair to him for showing willing so go an take him along.
     
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    Last edited: Jun 6, 2019
    beachlover likes this.
  9. dkonopinski

    dkonopinski Subscribed Member

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    Been there. Done that. Not for walking trips and suchlike, but I wanted to do the right thing and ended up with the responsibility for a neighbour with unstable dementia whose family seem incapable of ensuring he takes his medication as prescribed. Extrication from that situation was a hard road for me having to repeatedly tell his family some harsh truths. So I would advise that you do what you feel is the right thing, but set out the rules as others have said to protect yourself.

    On the other hand, if you are happy and comfortable with just saying no. Say no. No-one has the right to invade your life uninvited.

    David
     
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