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Viz

Discussion in 'General Chat and Gossip' started by Saint-Just, May 8, 2015.

  1. Saint-Just

    Saint-Just Moderator Staff Member

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    Stolen from another forum, but thought it would fit in well:

    Viz is still as educational as it ever was.

    From the current edition:

    LETTERS
    It's encouraging to see that role models do sometimes have an impact on our youth. Jason, for instance, was an heroic figure in Greek mythology who had many noble and daring adventures. Coincidentally, there is a young man on our estate who wears a golden fleece. Alright, I know the real Jason didn't sniff glue or steal cars but I think I've made my point nonetheless.
    Chester Dyson, Tooting

    On Mother's Day, my son sent me a card which read 'To Mum, I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you'. I know it isn't very original but it's difficult to argue with his biological hypothesis.
    Doris Babcock, Nottingham

    They say there's no fool like an old fool but I beg to differ. I've just sold my T-reg Datsun Cherry to a 25-year old for three grand.
    Guillermo Clifford, Hants

    TOP TIP
    Convince friends and neighbours you're a volunteer worker at the local charity shop by sporting a goatee, glasses and wearing a sleeveless safari jacket.
    DeForest Tucker, Birmingham
     
    #1
  2. NOTSHARP

    NOTSHARP Subscribed Member

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    :clap::clap::clap:

    Link to the site ???


    Steve.
     
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  3. Saint-Just

    Saint-Just Moderator Staff Member

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  4. Nice65

    Nice65 Subscribed Member

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    I did enjoy Viz. Black Bag was always excellent, and I've been trying to find Godzilla and the Ring of Pubis for years, can't though.
     
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  5. NOTSHARP

    NOTSHARP Subscribed Member

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    #5
  6. Happy Wanderer

    Happy Wanderer Member

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    I recall reading Balsa Boy for the very first time. It nearly put me in A&E. I couldn't breathe.

    58 year old social inadequate, Arthur Trubshaw had always dreamt of having a child of his own ...

    Oh man I can feel the pain coming back. Oh Daddy why does it hurt so much. Oh Daddy Daddy hold my hand. I don't want to die ..


    NURSE!!!!!!
     
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  7. sarj

    sarj Moderator Staff Member

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    Monkey spunk moped! try getting that in any other thread,:rofl:

    [​IMG]


    Quite frankly, I am disgusted that this august forum would allow a thread about the vile publication Viz. when I was a lad the comic- cut papers were both healthy and educational!. my personal favourite was " The Rogerer" published by the Catholic Church, I spent many a happy evening bent over the Altar receiving Extreme Unction from the priest, whilst thumbing the old Rogerer.


    Jason Marmoset

    Minge water terrace
    bluebell end
    Cunton upon Thames.
     
    #7
    Last edited: May 9, 2015
  8. Paul W

    Paul W Member

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  9. Saint-Just

    Saint-Just Moderator Staff Member

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  10. noddy

    noddy Subscribed Member

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    The phrase 'go piss up a rope' entered my vocabulary sometime in the early-mid 80s thanks to Viz, and hasn't really left it since
     
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  11. dazcon

    dazcon Member

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    I used to love the Viz. In the early days you could only buy it at Virgin Records shops. Readers letters and top-tips were superb, as were their Bradford Exchange Sunday supplement type ads. The John Wayne, Tutenkhamun Dambusters clock for instance. The red wax stamp at the bottom corner said " Shit things on tick." ....Brilliant!

    I'm not a fan of these new-fangled gravy granules. They're crunchy and leave a bitter taste in your mouth! I like my gravy runny, like mum used to make!

    It's a proven statistic that 99% of stalkers never actually approach their victims. I'm sure that is of some comfort to the two remaining Beatles.

    :nod:
     
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    Paul W likes this.
  12. Paul W

    Paul W Member

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    And let us not forget Viz's superb politically incorrect merchandise :nod:

    [​IMG][​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
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  13. dazcon

    dazcon Member

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    Superb! I miss topless skateboard nun!!

    I remember the " How American Are You?" quiz.

    Question 1:-

    You are leaving your long-term partner as the relationship is stagnating. Do you:-

    A. Leave her a heart-felt note and slip out in the middle of the night.

    B. Sit her down and explain your feelings letting her down as gently as you can.

    C. Take her on a prime-time tv show and attack her with a chair in front of a group of whooping in-bred degenerates.

    :rofl:
     
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  14. Cave_Dweller

    Cave_Dweller Member

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    And of course, who could forget...

    [​IMG]
    Hello, good evening, and bollocks.
     
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  15. one_rod

    one_rod Subscribed Member

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    I actually had issue #1.
    Looked like it had been made by some bored school kid on a photocopier.

    You could only get in the North East in those days, and only from certain "adult" type shops.

    No idea what happened to it, probably lent it to someone and never got it back. Never gave it another thought, until I found out how much they change hands for these days. :O

    http://tonyvalderama.com/acatalog/Viz_Comic__Back_Issues_.html
     
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  16. John56

    John56 Member

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    Does anybody else remember The Great Winnit Hunter and Buster Gonads? Top tips were great too, I seem to remember the number 1 tip for dieters was: Eat less, shit more.

    Sent from my PMT7077_3G using Tapatalk
     
    #16
  17. BorderReiver

    BorderReiver Moderator Staff Member

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  18. Saint-Just

    Saint-Just Moderator Staff Member

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    Another top tip:
    An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator. Sister S., Berwick
     
    #18
  19. ElThomsono

    ElThomsono Moderator Staff Member

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    Fool people into thinking you have automatic windscreen wipers by turning them on when it rains.
     
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  20. John56

    John56 Member

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    Another Top Tip for dieters:

    Fat people, if you find yourself being tempted by the chocolate bar in the fridge then don't put the fucking thing in there in the first place.
     
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